Blame it on Kise!
by TehPrimeraHaruoka
Summary: In which Kise is blamed for incidents that he had no business being close to, A.K.A Kise heeds to buy a watch. Chapter 2: Tetsuya, Kise can't help it if his fab is noticed by other in his vicinity...
1. Kise Returns

**I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!**

**Hi~ Eren here and I'm sorry everyone, I'm such a terrible person. I've completely dropped everything and disappeared off the face of the earth… oh well hi!**

**I'm still not back for good, that requires one more week, however, I do have a little GoM story for the ones who are willing to read and enjoy it. Well, more like a collection since I really can't handle starting anymore set stories and not being able to update them until like two month later. No, it doesn't work like that at all.**

**Anyway, that little thing aside, please enjoy me taking out my stress on pretty little Kise here~!**

Kagami groaned as Aomine grazed his teeth against his ear, his longer than usual (has anyone else noticed this?!) canines biting greedily at the appendage. The red haired male glared slightly at his attacker, snorting at the lusty look in the panther's eyes before glancing towards the television once more.

He had simply been watching some action movie on the channel and the couch was rather comfy so he decided that he wasn't going to get up, after all boarding in a house where the entire Generation of Miracles lived was a very tiring experience, what with Midorima's OCD and constant buying off lucky items, Akashi's ridiculous mood swings that constantly switched from homicidal to sparkly and changed so quickly that it was terrifying to have to guess which mood he was in at that point, Aomine's ridiculous libido, Murasakibara's unwillingness to do… anything and Kise's quirky habits (seriously, NO ONE goes all the way to Italy to bring back boxed pasta). Kagami supposed that he should be honoured that such amazing players accepted him into their personal circle but it was a bit too much, honestly.

Aomine was trailing his hands down his chest and Kagami was just about done with this, he just wanted to watch Vin Diesel face off against Dwayne Johnson and probably hope that they make-out or something. He bucked harshly, throwing Aomine off balance a bit before kicking out with his feet and, in the process of successfully getting his aggressor off, also succeeded in sending his through the coffee table.

The glass coffee table.

And he was now a dead man.

Shit.

Aomine looked shocked, it was obvious that the glass hadn't hurt him apart from a few shards here and there, but he was wide-eyed and staring straight at Kagami. There were a couple moments of silence before Aomine's shocked features slowly curled into something that was the cross between undeniably satisfied and incredibly amused. He got off of the spot on the floor he had been lying in and dusted the small shards and debris that clung to his black shirt before navigating himself through the shards and resting his hand against Kagami's shoulder and smirking widely, "You know you're screwed now, right?"

The tiger made a vague sound of understanding in the back of his throat, a cross between a low whine and an exasperated breath that described pretty accurately what was going through Kagami's mind. Dark maroon eyes stared at the table as if wanting to will the pieces of the table back together with telepathy that wasn't existent. He acknowledged what Aomine had said. Before completely understanding what the ganguro had whispered to him.

His eyes narrowed, "It wasn't my fault! It was yours; you were the one that fell through the table!"

Aomine raised an eyebrow before the hand that was on Kagami's shirt was twisting and pulling him into the taller man's space. They were a hair's breath away from each other and Aomine was scowling, "What the hell do you mean 'my fault'?"

Kagami smiled nervously, "You're the one that tried to molest me on the couch. If you had come and sat down quietly, none of this would've happened."

Aomine looked mad now, "Yeah? That doesn't matter. In the end, you were the punk that threw me through the table."

"It was an accident!"

"You still did it!"

Kagami groaned and ran a hand through his hair before his eyes widened with fear and understanding, "We're screwed Aomine! Not just me and not just you, you think Akashi cares about any of that blame shit?! He's gonna skin us and hang us over his fireplace and…"

Aomine groaned and swiftly moved towards the nearest wall clenching his fist and getting into position to punch it spurring Kagami to yell at him to stop causing collateral damage and that they definitely didn't need to add a dent to the wall on their list of entertainment room sins.

Aomine curled onto the floor and put his head between his knees, mimicking the foetal position, "Why the fuck did you kick me off of the couch, huh? I just finished healing from that last tantrum and now he's gonna do it again and I should've told Kagami that I loved him and I should've told Satsuki that her boobs were always the best…"

After the Satsuki line Kagami slapped him, "Listen! We need to get moving! Let's grab our passports and head to the immigration office! From here on out you're Christian Grey and I'm Charles Grey, I'll go get my-"

"I'm back everyone. Kurokocchi, I brought back that box set you wanted."

Aomine and Kagami looked at each other briefly before twin Cheshire grins fell upon their faces, "Kise, we're in here!"

The blonde pilot made his way comfortably to the entertainment room, the loud suitcase rolling loudly against the tiled floors giving him away. He walked through the doorway before stopping to smile at the only two inhabitants of the room, "Where's everyone else?"

Aomine stood in front of the broken mess while Kagami spoke to the rather tired and jet-lagged blonde. "Kuroko, Murasakibara and Akashi are at work, Midorima is out shopping. Welcome back, wanna watch a movie?"

The droopy blonde smiled tiredly before shaking his head, "Nah, I'm going to go sleep. It's been a while since I slept in a people's bed."

Kise looked down at his feet and noticed a large shard and picked it up holding it to the window light, he didn't hear the subtle clicking of a camera behind him as he moved towards the broken table, glass crunching under his sneakers and he moved toward the half-broken frame of the coffee table. He groaned and put the shard down before looking exasperatedly back at the two culprits, who looked rather pleased with themselves, "Akashicchi is going to kill the both of you, Aominecchi, Kagamicchi do I even want to… you know what, I'm going to sleep, I'm too tired for this. Good night and good luck."

As Kise walked slowly out of the room he turned around and glared at Kagami and Aomine, the temperature lowering ever so slightly as the blonde scowled, "And sweep it up. You'll kill someone."

The door closed and Kagami leaned over to Aomine ever so slightly, "Remind me to don't piss him off. Ever."

Later that night, Kise Ryouta found himself being woken up rather violently from bed and to the face of one, extremely pissed off Akashi Seijuurou.

"Akashicchi… what's wrong…?"

The heterochromic male held up a small phone screen that showed Kise holding up a shard in front of a broken table with a shocked expression on his face.

"Care to explain what this is, Ryouta?"

The blonde growled in the back of his throat, "The broken coffee table."

Akashi pushed the screen into his face, "Really, so much collateral damage one your first day back? Missed me that much, huh?"

Kise groaned and ran a hand through his hair, "Listen, Akashicchi, I have a really good explanation for this, just… let me sleep. Please?"

Amber eyes glinted slightly before he snorted, "Very well, you shall have a grace period of seven hours. I will return with Shintarou at the end of said grace period."

Kise nodded and pinched the bridge of his nose before spotting a speck of bright blood crimson hair from his doorway. And it wasn't Akashi.

Aomine groaned as he held his pillow to his body while Kagami paced around their bedroom.

"Do you think it worked?"

Kagami was about to reply when a small note slipped into the room from underneath the door. The red head stopped before slowly moving towards the door to retrieve the piece of electric yellow stencil paper.

He opened it up before promptly squeaking and throwing it to Aomine. The bluenette read it before cursing his luck. Kagami looked at Aomine, "We're screwed, Ahomine! What are we gonna do?!"

The blue eyed male stretched across the bed and grabbed the car keys and sunglasses that lay on the bedside table. He placed the sunglasses on and stretched his neck and feet before swiftly picking up his leather coat.

"Who's 'Ahomine' my name is Christian."


	2. The Case of Pervert's Syndrome

**Hello again everyone~! Well, here's another one of these… things. I don't know what they're called, ficlets? Drabbles? Oneshots? They're something, I guess. Anyway, enjoy my newest instalment on the torturment of Kise Ryouta~**

**Disclaimer: Kise Ryouta isn't mine. It's a beautifully one-sided relationship.**

Kise Ryouta was a very simple, hard-working man. He worked earnestly from 8 to whatever-the-hell time his manager decided would be good for him to stop, didn't do drugs, was only arrested once (French prison isn't as bad as it sounds) and was extremely faithful to his one and only Kurokocchi. All in all, Kise Ryouta could say with the utmost certainty that he did _not_ deserve to be in this situation at this moment.

His co-worker for this shoot was the very famous, apparently very frisky Kousuke Kirito, a male actor and one of the most controversial. Really, it was career suicide for his basket case of a manager to have signed him up for this.

As of this moment, i.e. right now, Kise was currently being groped discreetly while the two were posing. The blonde honestly was way beyond wanting to burst into comical tears and was slowly reaching the realm of 'let's kill him before anyone sees' because, knowing his luck, Kuroko would choose today to bring him lunch.

Lunch time was in five minutes.

"Okay, perfect! Kousuke, Kise, lunch!"

The blonde model breathed out in relief before sprinting to his changing room to hide from Kirito, who he was certain, was right behind him. However, before he could reach the golden painted door with the pink star that proudly proclaimed 'Kise Ryouta' in bold black, a strong hand, probably as strong as Aomine's, grabbed his elbow and he was met with the smirking bold green eyes of Kirito. The silverette grinned down at Kise (sadly he was a couple inches taller than Kise) before pulling him towards the lunch table, "We're having lunch together, Kise-san."

Kise groaned inwardly before glancing at the clock. Kuroko was a very punctual and consistent person; he came to his set, wherever it was, at exactly twelve each time and he did so without fail. It was 11:57, he was running out of time.

"Um, Kousuke-san, I actually have plans with my _lover_ and-"

Suddenly Kise found a ringed forefinger at his lips, silencing him and Kirito's irritated eyes glaring down at him, "Now, now, we're at work. Pleasure and business don't mix, right? Besides, what your lover doesn't know, won't hurt her."

Kise was painfully close to snapping now; he could feel his mental rope slowly breaking with every slow tick of the second hand on the clock on the far wall and there was never a time he wished for the power of Ignite Pass more than now. Unfortunately, this place was literally crawling with cameramen and paparazzi and maiming a co-worker, especially a well-known one, no matter how sleazy, wasn't good for his image or his lifestyle, so he continued _trying_ to be polite.

"Uh, Kirito-san, why is your finger on my, okay why are you so-"

Kise's amber eyes widened with disgust, surprise and disbelief as his mouth was filled with the taste of mint gum, Listerine and something weirdly bitter.

By this point, Kise's mind was blank.

Completely_**blank, **_and, oh God, his tongue was fucking gross and that pretty much sealed the deal for him. He was not working with this pervert of a-

"Ryouta-kun, I brought…"

Oh Kami he was screwed in every position possible right now.

Unfortunately, his body still wouldn't comply with his wishes, 'recovering from sexual assault' his mind helpfully supplied and that left Kirito to confront a rather pissed off Kuroko Tetsuya.

Time had been very, _very_ kind to Tetsuya, no longer was he short and slim but he had grown taller, just a bit shorter than Akashi and he had filled out beautifully, years of hard training packing his muscles tightly with compressed muscles, Midorima often said that he had a swimmer's body.

His jaw was set tightly and his eyes were just as blank and inexpressive as they'd always been, however, with time, he had learned to perfect his presence, and right now it was positively _stifling_.

"So this is Kise Ryouta's mysterious lover. Cute. I prefer blondes though."

Kirito then had the audacity to throw his arm around Kise's neck like he was familiar with him, which made Kise flinch and finally (_FINALLY_) regain control over his body and mouth.

"I swear it's not what it looks like Kurokocchi, he's just perverted-ssu. I tried to tell him that I was taken but he just wouldn't-"

"Please keep quiet, Kise-kun."

Kise immediately shuddered and shut his mouth; Kuroko hadn't referred to him as 'Kise-kun' since before they had gotten together officially. It hurt.

Badly.

Kuroko then stiffly placed the bento lunch he had been carrying on the floor next to his feet and took off the yellow chick apron that was still around him from his time at Kindergarten. He folded it slowly, deliberately, before walking up to Kirito.

The silver haired man grinned menacingly before frowning as Kise punched him squarely in the arm and skittering to the nearby fountain to wash the 'Kousuke' from his mouth.

"Anonymous-san, may I ask why you were kissing my boyfriend?"

Kirito's grin widened, "Simple it was becau-"

The bright blue of an Ignite Pass enhanced punch burned briefly before Kirito was halfway across the room and still pitching.

"Your argument is invalid, Anonymous-san."

Kuroko then purposefully strode back to his discarded apron and boxed lunch before looking blankly at Kise, "Have fun at Aomine-kun's tonight, Kise-kun."

Kise couldn't believe his ears. It wasn't even his fault! That pervert Kirito is to blame, All him, no Kise!

He wanted to shout that at his lover before a thought crossed his mind.

"Can I at least still have-"

"Enjoy your takeout, Kise-san."

Kise Ryouta couldn't help the tear that escaped his eye at that cold statement.

**Awww, Ki-chan, don't worry, Eren will hug you better~!**

**I'm sorry, but I enjoy Kise too much to have passed this up, I'm pretty sure that as the GoM grew and matured, they would all grow new habits and such and it's one of my personal favourite headcanons to believe that Tetsu-chan would have a last minute growth spurt and be rewarded for some of his effort. **

**Even if it wasn't much.**

**Kirito Kousuke was a fun little character to think up and if you want a visual aide, think of Sephiroth with shoulder-length hair in Sora from Kingdom Heart's hairstyle. Anyway, that's all from me, so see ya next time**

**-Eren~**


End file.
